Actually, I really dont to know what I have must to write..
My brain just so blank for this time.lol

I just have a little problems with my father.!!
Just a little and doesnt means anything..
Wait, is that really if there are doesnt means anything for me???
Let me think.!?

Oke, I am decided to half means and a half again doesnt..

why you lie to me dad??
I really hurt when I know you lying to us.
Did you know the pain is???
the pain is....Aaaarrrrrrrggghhhhhhh.!!!!

Sorry..
But I really couldnt save my act to hate you.!
I really hate you, not because u are hurtin Us..
But because of you should be going our hero, and hero shouldnt hurtin people whose love you...

Dear my Father :
When I was born and grow up to be ur angel's I really love you, but now I am not a kids, not ur baby again..
I really hate you more more and more than I love you.
Sorry but Its true

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El Lunes, 25 de Julio 2011


My Lil brother's was birthday, and almost every year we are celebrates..
but its so difrrnt momments.hmm yeah since my lovely moms passed away everythings is changing :(
Honestly..(for me) Its sadness momment but for other side is happy momment,
we are still smiling and care of each other.
And my questions is :

- Does my mommy (in heaven) can seen me and her other childs smile??

- Does my mommy huggin on with us too???

- Does she knows if we are really miss her??

My cousin was text me : " If both of you are happy, your's mommy will happy too but if both of you are sad, she will too"
is thats true?? damn.!!
I really wanna see her always smiley and happy :)

in the other words I really believed If Allah swt will always save her better than me or other people whose love her...

I belived too if Allah swt will always care of her better tha me or all people whose love her.!!

Mom's.. I really wanna sorry..
If at the past I couldnt save you from people whose give ur pain.
If I couldnt understand if your hearts is so hurtin and brooke up.!
really sorry mom's, you really know if its are my deepest disapointed of myself :(
thats are really make me so stupid damn.!

ok.
my special words for my mommy is..
We are will always miss you , we are will always pray for you.
cos like you and everybody knews if we are really love you with the deepest of our hearts :)
and you are is the greatest mommy on the world and no one can changes you, NO ONE.!!
 and I promises to you to always take care my lil sist and my lil brother.!

and lets pray togethr for Ipam, your lovely son..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY'S PAMBUDI MUHAMMAD NUGRAHA.!!!
MAY ALLAH WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU, CARE OF YOU, AND BLEES YOU.!!
ALL THE BEST FOR YOU.! AMIEN.!



Nb: Thanks for commin on my dreams last night moms,

        I am really so happy and greatfull. coz Finally I met you, Kiss and hug you even while just dreams..

       Alhamdulillah

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the note for mom's

"last friday,we lost one of the people that we love so much. she left so much love for us.
now, she is in the most beautiful place in heaven.
may God keep her always, so she could always smile.
her love will always be a candle that will always shine in our hearts when we are in darkness.
we will always love you Mom"




this note written by Sylvernes..
his made it for my mom..


damn .!
I really miss you so badly mom..


are you hear and see me??

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POR QUE TE AMOR 051209

sin tu amor no soy feliz

por que te amo,y no debes dudar,
""y no debes dudar"
mi amor por ti nunca se acabara
por que te amo y no debes temer,
que con brazos abiertos yo te esperare

si tu ya as de pensar k yo ya no siento amor por ti
 estas equibocada solo crese mas
es que tu no lo entiendes
cuan fuerte mi amor por ti y sin tu amor no soy feliz..
Y con brazos abiertos yo t esperare

si tu ya as de pensar que yo ya no siento amor por ti,
estas equibocada solo crese mas,
es que tu no lo entiendes cuan fuerte mi amor por ti y sin tu amor no soy feliz..

Que con brazos abiertos yo te esperare donde quiera que estes...

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My yesterdays are all boxed up and neatly put away
But every now and then you come to mind
Cause you were always waiting to be picked to play the game
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But my demons and my angels reappeared
Too afraid to hear the words I've always feared
Leavin' you so many questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well they say that love is in the air, but never is it clear,
How to pull it close and make it stay
Butterflies are free to fly, and so they fly away
And I'm left to carry on and wonder why
Even through it all, I'm always on your side

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
But this isn't how it's really meant to be
No it isn't how it's really meant to be

Well if they say that love is in the air, never is it clear
How to pull it close and make it stay
If butterflies are free to fly, why do they fly away
Leavin' me to carry on and wonder why
Was it you that kept me wondering through this life
When you know that I was always on your side

http://youtu.be/FseuxxcTlvA

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Tears, can you please stop rolling down.??????

In the night like this I really miss my mom's so badly..
Masih teringat jelas di benak, saat dia mengelus rambutku ketika aku tertidur dipangkuannya.
Aku hanya terlalu merindukan mama.!
Ya Allah Ya Rabb..
Aku berharap Engkau memberikan tempat terindah untuknya, tempat dimana dia tak dapt merasakan sakit atau perasaan sedih..
Lindungi mamah dari siksa kuburMu Ya Rabb..
Aku bersujud hanya kepadaMu
Ya allah Ya Rabb....

Kuatkanlah kami yang ditinggalkan, amien :)

And now.!
I just have to cool myself down.

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Another day is going by
I'm thinking about you all the time
But you're out there
And I'am here waiting
And I wrote this letter in my head
Cos so many things were left unsaid
But now you're gone
And I can't think straight
This could be the one last chance
To make you understand
I'd do anything
Just to hold you in my arms
To try to make you laugh
Cus somehow I can't put you in the past
I'd do anything
Just to fall asleep with you
Will you remember me
Cos I know
I won't forget you
Together we broke all the rules
Dreaming of dropping out of school
And leave this place, to never come back
So now maybe after all these years
If you miss me have no fear
I'll be here
I'll be waiting
This could be the one last chance to make you understand
And just can't let you leave me once again
I close my eyes, and all see is you
I close my eyes, i try to sleep
I can't forget you
And i'd do anything for you.....

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Hi..
I am back to blogging again, it's like so long time to not write's..
Yeah, it's because of I do not what I must to write and share with both of you...

Since my beloved mom's was gone, my emotions like in roller coaster's.
And I can't handdled my emotions actually.
Im so down, so sad, I miss my mommi so badly..

Does anybody know, I feel lost??
huh. God please help me.!
I don't wanna be going stupid.!

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Ok, I am in hard condition and maybe it's the reason why I am so angry with people who hurt other people.when I know whose the people was hurtin' the people who I love it make me like a crazy person.! To be worst to kill someone who do that..
Yeah I know its so wrong,but it what I feel.!

To Hard To Forgive..
Thats what I would do right know..
I hate people whose catch they but lie.!! Fuck.! They so worst than evil I thinks..

I just believe if "KARMA" still there, and "KARMA" will come to them.!! not only the bad KARMA but the worst.!!!!!
God,Please show YOur act to them.!!

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Allah swt was save my Mom's

Friday, June 8'th 2011..
At 08.15 my beloved Mom's was passed away, It's so hard to face, so hard to believed.
In a fact, Im in my mom's side when she wanna go, still prepare for her breakfast and many things about her..
and now i
Im must to be strong to accept this fact,even I doubt that I can be strong..

My mom's still stay in my heart I believe.but sometimes I really didn't understand why the people whose we most love have to leave.

Mom's..
Everysecond everytime everymomment I really miss you,
Allah swt had give you the greats place there, and Allah swt had give you more love than me or two other your child's..

Thank for everything was u give to me and others.
Thanks for you care's, your love, and many more..
I really proud have you as my Moms, thanks to be the greats mom's in my live..

Allah swt was save you Mom's <3

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Hola.!! Como esta???
Its have been 2 days I didn't blogging,hmm really miss it :(

since my mom's in the Hospital I can't do much what I love, I don't have much time. Yeah, i have to care my mom's carefully..

But Im back now just for say helo.jejeje
Bismillahirahmannirahim..
I wish everything is gonna be ok (again).
God be bless us everytime :)

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Happy or Sad = TETAP BERSYUKUR

Hmm..
So many happens in my first step of 21'th years old :)
I do not what i must have to say, so many feelin there,.
I smile than I Cry, I cry than I smile.
Its looks like so weird but it is a fact..
And I have to face the truth...

>Happy : It's my bornday,.
-Many thanks to Allah swt was give me alive,breath,and loveable people arround me..
-many thanks to my big Family whose always support me and give me more love everyday, especially for my mom :*
-many thanks to my Sylvernest, the greatest love i have :) thnk for always caring me and my family. Thanks for lovely do you give to me and my family too :)
-my bestfriend : so many friends i have in this world. Thanks you so much for all of you to be my bestfriends..
-and many thanks to people whose to be a good for me, :)

>Sadness :
My lovely moms was got sick,
Now she is must be opname :'(
Its really hurt me actually.
But i have to be strong for her..
GET WELL SOON MOMS :*

Semakin hari semakin belajar untuk mendewasakan diri..
Semakin belajar untuk menjadi pribadi yang jauh lebih baik.
Semakin belajar untul menjadi lebih kuat dan tegar dalam setiap menjalani cobaan apapun..

Saya selalu bersyukur atas apa yang Allah swt berikan, bersyukur pula karena dia memberikan saya banyak orang yang begitu luar biasa menyayangi dan melindungi saya..
Bersyukur juga karena Allah swt selalu melindungi saya dari mereka yang jahat.
Terimakasih ya Rabb, untuk tetap memelukku dalam keadaan apa pun.

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El lunes, cuarto de Julio 2011..

Feliz cumpleanos For mi :))
Thanks you so much to Allah swt.
For the greatest live You Had to me :)
Tengo 21 anos :)
Alhamdulillah Ya Rabb :)

Muchas gracias a Dios :*
<3

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:((

I'm afraid to close my eyes in fear that i wont be able to see,
When I open them when I wake up

Im really don't wanna cry and blame myself..

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wednesday, 29'th June 2011

me and mi preciosa was hangin out to JIEXPO,

actually we are go w/ 3 person other( Mama, koh ino, and ka nury)

but both of them cant takeapict.huhuhu :(

alright here there any photo want to share, I really wanna upload a lot pict but hotmail didnt let me to do that :(

but its oke,I really have fun :)

enjoy this pict :)

This holiday very make me happy :)
yeah, from this momment i really thanksfull for my dearest love :)
he always make mi so in love:)jejeje

Te Quiero mi amor :))

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Many don't realize until the end that happiness is a choice ;
Happiness is a choice ;
Happiness is something that we choose for ourselves.
Many get upset over the circumstances in their lives.
What they do not realize is that they can choose to face difficulties with a smile.
Take a momment and enjoy life
If difficulties come your way, remember that pain is inevitable but allowing in misery is always optimal.

Choose to be HAPPY.

My BELIEVE ; "The hardship I've gone through now will benefits me in my near future, everything gonna be worth while" :)

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No Me Ames

Dime porque lloras

De felicidad

Y porqué te ahogas

Por la soledad

Y porque me tomas, fuerte así, mis manos

Y tus pensamientos te van llevando
Yo te quiero tanto

Y porque será

Loco testarudo, no lo dudes mas

Aunque en el futuro, haya un muro enorme

Yo no tengo miedo

Quiero enamorarme


No me ames, porque piensas que parezco diferente

Tú no piensas que es lo justo ver pasar el tiempo juntos

No me ames, que comprendo la mentira que sería

Si tu amor no merezco, no me ames, mas quedate otro día


No me ames, porque estoy perdido, porque cambie el mundo,

Porque es el destino, porque no se puede, somos un espejo

Y tu así serías lo que yo de mi reflejo

No me ames, para estar muriendo, dentro de una guerra llena de

arrepentimientos, no me ames, para estar en tierra, quiero alzar el vuelo

Con tu gran amor por el azul del cielo


No sé que decirte, esa es la verdad

Si la gente quiere, sabe lastimar

Tu y yo partiremos, ellos no se mueven

Pero en este cielo sola no me dejes


No me dejes, no me dejes, no me escuches, si te digo "no me ames"

No me dejes, no desarmes, mi corazón con ese "no me ames"

No me ames, te lo ruego, mi amargura déjame

Sabes bien, que no puedo,que es inútil, que siempre te amaré


No me ames, pues te haré sufrir con este corazón que se lleno
de

mil inviernos

No me ames, para así olvidarte de tus dias trises quiero que me ames

sólo por amarme

No me ames, tu y yo volaremos uno con el otro y seguiremos siempre juntos

Este amor es como el sol que sale tras de la tormenta

Como dos cometas en la misma estela


No me ames

No me ames

No me ames

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1-Te Quiero Contar Un Secretiito (Pasa Al 5)
2.- La Respuesta Esta... (En El 11)
3.- No Te Molestes (Mira El 15)
4.-Calma No Te Enojes!!!! (Es Miira El 13)
5.- Primero (Mira El 2 jijijijiji)
6.- No T Enojes ( Ve A El 12)
7.-Solo Queriia Deciirte Que ( Ve Hasta Bajote)
8.- Lo Que Quiiero Deciirte Es... (Esta En El 14)
9.- Ten Pasiienciia (Miira El 4)
10.-Allii Esta Fiinalmente El Secreto (Ve El 7)
11.-Todaviia No Puedo Deciirlo (Miira El 6)
12.-Ya Quiieres Que Te Diiga? (Ve Al 8)
13.-No Seas Tan Ansiiosooo!!!!!!!! (Miira El 10 )
14.-Es Quee No Se Komo Deciirtelo (Miira El 3)
15.-Debes Estar Furiiosa(o) No?????? (Ve Al 9)
...........
Que Te Quiiero Mucho Y Eres Una Persona Especiial Te Llevare En Mii ♥ !! Y No Me Arrepiiento De Haberte Conociido...TE KIERO MUXO!!!
Valiio La Pena La Paciienciia...???
Pasalo A las personaz q maz quieres!!..

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