Past (2013) Thanks for helping me growning

1. Hope for the best, expect the worst.

I admit I faced a few major setbacks this year, especially in the later part of 2013. 

Why? Expectations.

 Expectations kill. 

Sometimes, we somehow think that so long as we give our very best, 

we will get what we hope for. 

Apparently, reality tells us otherwise. 

You know that feeling when you gave your best,

you felt extremely hopeful that it would turn out the way you wanted,

but eventually ended with major disappointments because it turned out otherwise?
That feeling sucks.

But life is like that, full of surprises isnt it?

Hope for the best;

This is to remind myself to continue to be optimistic in life,

to remind myself to not allow setbacks to pull me away from the positive thoughts.

Optimism will not grant me ultimate success for sure,

but I know it gives me the additional moral boost that is much needed at most times,

it urges me to move forward in the direction that I want to head to.

Expect the worst;

That being said, I must always prepare myself to accept failures.

No matter how positive I may be,

there must always be a safety net to fall upon.
& when that happens,

instead of allowing myself to lose heart & give up,

I must learn from the failure & allow it to guide me to the next step towards my goal(s).
Easier said than done, but yes,

it can be done.

"Everyone has diff hopes for life. 

Some live for themselves, some for others. 

But there is no guarantee that our hopes will be realized. 

If the hope can never be realized, should one still be persistent? 

When a hope is realized, it brings happiness. 

The hope may be small but once it is realized, it seems like your life is suddenly full of hope. 

Hope may be intangible, but it is our spiritual support. 

Like air, our bodies cant do w/o air. 

Our hearts wont have the will to go on w/o hope.

We all want to realize our wishes. 

But life is not a bed of roses. 

Sometimes the greater the hope, the greater the disappointment. 

No hope, & there's no pain. 

Hope may lead to pain; but at the same time, 

because there is hope, however the pain, we can endure it. 

So we can fear disappointment or pain, but we cannot lose hope."

2. Live in the moment

This cliche statement, shall be one of my two resolutions for 2014.
(the other one is to start doing voluntary work!!!)

I have always been someone who think alot,

& I always think about my future.
Precisely because I think too much,

sometimes I allow myself to become too emotional 

and worry too much about what will happen in the future,

& I end up neglecting my present,

& forget to enjoy what I already have.

"Why do we always allow the things that we do not have 

to affect how we feel about what we already have?"

The recent Hokkaido trip has truly reminded me to live in the moment.
During my trip, I did not think about work at all;
I did not worry about when my next assignment will come, etc.
It was prolly the first time in this year (or rather the recent years)

that I truly lived in the moment.

Surprisingly,

when I returned from the trip, I received two assignments immediately,

& one of the roles turned out to be one of my most satisfactory roles thus far.

It reminds me that often, the best things come unexpected.

So yes,

for the new year, I will constantly remind myself to live in the moment 

& not allow thoughts about the future to destroy my present.
(but of course, that doesnt mean that I should stop planning for the future.)

3.  To cherish

Yet another cliche phrase..

But this year has indeed reminded me once again to cherish my loved ones.

Amidst all the chaos, setbacks & superficiality,

my loved ones has never failed to be there to keep me sane.

They have been supportive all these while.
There was a period of time when I didn't share much about my work/life with my family & friends,

not because I didn't want to,

but because I was kind of angry and disappointed with myself that 

I have not been achieving what I want to,

& I just felt that I have nothing great to share,

so I ended up not talking as much to them,

even my dad..
I felt bad at the same time,

because I know I have not been spending enough quality time

yet at the same time I was kind of escaping.

I felt small about myself.

I don't really know how to describe that..

but it's prolly to the extent of

"I feel ashamed of myself that I could only do this much" thing.
I knew all along that as my loved ones,

they would never think of me that way,

& in fact, they would be glad to just hear about anything that I have to share.

But I just.. couldn't help wanting to 'escape'.

Until a certain point when I realized that,

"hey, it's time to stop the negativity.
They are here for me, always have been,

& I should cherish.
Cherish them, because life may take any of them away from me anytime,

& I really cannot take it for granted that 

they can be here for me always.

Despite 2013 not going according to how I planned it to be,

I am still glad that it has helped me to grow,

& helped me to see clearer of what I want & do not want in my life.

A mixture of optimism + uncertainty + anticipation + fear + hopeful = my last few thoughts of 2013.

2014?

Let go of the bad things that happened in 2013,

carry the good memories,

& look ahead with positive thoughts for 2014 :)

Hope for the best, expect the worst.

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