Few days ago, I were randomly thingking about the topic of
Alone vs Lonely.
On some days, I shopped around alone.
On other days, I headed to the food court & enjoyed my meal alone.
Own time own target, I like.
When I told my friends about it, they were amazed
at how I could survive the lunch hour alone.
I was amazed by the fact that they were amazed..
I love spending time with my close friends & family members,
but at the same time, I actually really enjoy spending some alone time.
When I am on my own,
I feel that I experience more things, and discover more about myself.
"some people tend to mix up the meaning of being alone as being lonely.
but no! being alone doesn't necessary mean being lonely.
Perhaps some of them lack this certain confidence in themselves so they constantly need to be around people to feel comfortable.."
I don't know if you've felt the same as me;
I find that when I am around certain people,
especially when there are many of them,
I tend to shut off a little, and keep many thoughts to myself,
or even stop thinking.
I just don't feel that I can talk about many things to them.
In such situation, I can't wait to "escape"
and would rather be alone than with a group of people
that I am not comfortable with at all,
no matter how much laughter they may be having.
It's true that at some time, we have experience loneliness.
But it's not healthy to allow yourself to feel that way all the time.
You'll be depending on other people to make or break your mood,
you'll be depending on others to make you happy.
& that's really unhealthy..
Here are two articles which I found, and would like to share!
Alone vs Lonely: What's the Difference?
When you are lonely,
you are looking for someone or something to fill your time,
to fill the void in your schedule and to fill a void in your heart.
You are longing for something that does not exist anymore,
or maybe never existed in some cases.
You hope for company and feel depressed when you are by yourself.
Loneliness is a negative state of mind where you are always longing for the other.
Never satisfied being by yourself and always looking elsewhere for fulfillment
Alone is a positive state of mind, a very fulfilling place to be.
It is a state where you are always and constantly delighted in yourself.
It is blissful, happiness, content with nothing, and peaceful.
You do not rely on anyone but yourself to feel alone, and you are happy being alone.
You have found yourself, and you are living happily with yourself.
Now that we have the differences out of the way, what does this mean to you?
Lonely is a feeling you would probably come up
against right after a break up, divorce, separation, distance, etc.
The contact you had with another is no longer there,
but you are wishing and longing for it.
You are wanting it so bad that it affects you. You are lonely.
The ideal next step for this time in your life is to
hopefully overcome this unbearable sad feeling of being lonely,
and move into a more peaceful alone.
Here you find everything you need, perfectly happy to live, eat, play by yourself.
Relying on only yourself, you become a more fulfilled person for you.
You become everything you need for you.
You are finding and defining who you are while you are alone.
Before you can start another relationship, whether it be a friend,
you must first learn the joy and see the bliss of alone.
If you search for someone or something to fill the void of your loneliness,
you will find the exact same thing.
Another person who is lonely and looking to fill a void.
No one should start a relationship of any kind while they are lonely.
It is an equation for failure which will push you to start over on your own journey of loneliness.
Once you are alone and are perfectly happy with your alone,
it is only then that one might open their eyes
to the possibility of another relationship.
You will naturally be attracted to someone else who is alone.
You will find an equal to you,
not someone who adds or subtracts something from you.
You will share so many things in common,
because you overcame loneliness and found your bliss being alone.
Now, you are able to share this with another who has accomplished the same.
Lonely is referred to as a bad feeling,
but it is one that is worth every part of the pain to allow you to reach your alone.
Here in your alone, you will find yourself,
a person you may have never thought you were.
A person who is capable of so many things you may have never thought possible.
The answer always lies within you; your happiness, bliss, joy and nirvana are within you naturally. All we have to do is close our eyes and open up to our heart, energy and breath.
I hope that some of you will find this post useful..
Starting from now,
learn to love yourself more
and spend more time with yourself!
When you can love yourself more,
accept and enjoy the time you spend with yourself,
you'll learn to love the people around you more.
Cliche, but it's really true. :)
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe,
deserve your love and affection.”
